About DuetTots

What it is

DuetTots asks four quick questions about you and the same four about your child — sound, busy places, touch and mess, and pace. Then it names where you match and where you differ, with one thing to try for each difference.

Why it matters

When a grown-up and a child take in the world differently, play can get bumpy without anyone doing anything wrong. Seeing the difference turns it into something you can plan for. Researchers call this goodness of fit (Thomas & Chess, 1977): not whether a child is easy, but how well we fit, and what we can adjust.

What it is not

These are everyday preferences that shift with tiredness, hunger and the day — not labels, scores, or a diagnosis, for you or your child.

Privacy

Everything happens on this device. There are no accounts, no ads, and no tracking. Nothing you choose or type is saved or sent anywhere — when you leave the page, it is gone, unless you printed your card.

A note for grown-ups

DuetTots is Developmental (FEDC-informed) — informed by the functional-emotional developmental-capacities tradition of thinking about individual differences and relationships. All the words here are our own; DuetTots is not affiliated with, or endorsed by, any organization or program in that tradition. It is a conversation starter, not an assessment, a diagnosis, or therapy.

The grown-up side of the same idea, on Spark & Whetstone, our free site for grown-ups: The Circle at Our Table. Your style beside theirs; lesson five is on mending a mismatch.